John Rust

GRIMS

GRIMS

A brief self-report questionnaire for reflecting on the current state of your marriage or long-term partnership.

This 28-item questionnaire compares your relationship with those of couples from the general population. It holds up a mirror to your current feelings, rather than predicting your future.

There are no right or wrong answers: respond honestly to get the most useful reflection.

Your score is calculated entirely within your browser. Your answers and score are not sent to us, stored on our servers or used for research or marketing. No name or contact details are requested.

Select “Clear all answers” when you finish, especially on a shared device, as browsers may restore page contents. For information about hosting and routine technical data, see our Privacy Policy.

GRIMS – Golombok Rust Inventory of Marital State

A brief self-report questionnaire for reflecting on the current state of your marriage or long-term partnership.

Who can use this? Anyone is welcome to complete the questionnaire, including clinicians, researchers, students and people simply curious about their score or about how such measures work in practice.

How to respond

For each statement, choose the option that best matches how you feel at present about your relationship.

SD Strongly Disagree
D Disagree
A Agree
SA Strongly Agree
  1. My partner is usually sensitive to and aware of my needs.
  2. I really appreciate my partner’s sense of humour.
  3. My partner doesn’t seem to listen to me anymore.
  4. My partner has never been disloyal to me.
  5. I would be willing to give up my friends if it meant saving our relationship.
  6. I am dissatisfied with our relationship.
  7. I wish my partner was not so lazy and didn’t keep putting things off.
  8. I sometimes feel lonely even when I am with my partner.
  9. If my partner left me life would not be worth living.
  10. We can “agree to disagree” with each other.
  11. It is useless carrying on with a marriage beyond a certain point.
  12. We both seem to like the same things.
  13. I find it difficult to show my partner that I am feeling affectionate.
  14. I never have second thoughts about our relationship.
  15. I enjoy just sitting and talking with my partner.
  16. I find the idea of spending the rest of my life with my partner rather boring.
  17. There is always plenty of “give and take” in our relationship.
  18. We become competitive when we have to make decisions.
  19. I no longer feel I can really trust my partner.
  20. Our relationship is still full of joy and excitement.
  21. One of us is continually talking and the other is usually silent.
  22. Our relationship is continually evolving.
  23. Marriage is really more about security and money than about love.
  24. I wish there was more warmth and affection between us.
  25. I am totally committed to my relationship with my partner.
  26. Our relationship is sometimes strained because my partner is always correcting me.
  27. I suspect we may be on the brink of separation.
  28. We can always make up after an argument.

Copyright John Rust and Susan Golombok (1989). All rights reserved.